To be fair to Wilkie's epic facial hair, if I were high on opium and seeing green-fanged women and doppelgangers I wouldn't trust myself with a razor in the morning either.

PRESENTS! It's Ferretbrain fanart time. I was just so taken by the idea of 8-bit Henry the Eigth that I had to make some sprites.

Omg, THAT'S THE BEST THING EVER!!!

That's exactly how I imagined it, but better!!

I especially love: thou art slain.

And demonic Wolsey is amazing.

My taste is vindicated - the only two books I've read have got to the final!

For what it's worth,

@ Blackgeep: D'aw, look at his little raised-in-glee arms!

@ Andy: Well, given TeXt Factor's mission to be the antidote to book-prizes, it's only fitting that, where they often worthily claim to be encouraging people to read more, we have succeeded in convincing you that you have already read quite enough. :)

@Blackgeep: His stabbing is so adorably casual! I can see him in my head strolling up to a monk and nonchalantly slipping a dagger in his back.

@Andy: I don't think your voting intentions count as a spoiler. ;)

Now all we need is a Midi version of Greensleeves for the soundtrack ;)

Andy's voting intentions could count as a spoiler IF you hadn't heard the rest of the episodes yet and didn't know which books had reached the final. So, err, ner :P

Anyone who reads the comment section before listening to the episode deserves whats they gets. :P (Also isn't it established that that particular book is safe within, what, 5 minutes of the episode starting?)

(Also isn't it established that that particular book is safe within, what, 5 minutes of the episode starting?)

Ah, but if we can force people to listen to the first five minutes then they'll be hooked by our heady and vivacious repartee and will inevitably listen to the whole episode.

In fact for previous episodes anyone who's been paying any attention to the scoring system would have been able to see which two books were in danger of going out without listening to any of it at all, just by looking at the list of time-markers and thus seeing what order we discuss the books in. But I notice there's no such list this week, which is presumably a cunning ploy to heighten tension (within the legal limits laid down by the Galactic Statute of Narrative Practice).

Check the site now! I think I've made all of our dreams come true as best I can without employing javascript I don't know.

I've never really minded being able to see what was on the bottom. Really, hearing the commentary along thw way has always been the fun part for me. As for the final: I'm pulling for The Woman in White for its continued awesomeness. I may have read a few chapters ahead...

Just a note on your inviting-authors-to-tea thing: I believe Arundhati Roy lives in New Delhi, so she wouldn't be much cheaper to fly in than Murakami.

Maybe Zombie Wilkie Collins could transport them both using the uncanny powers of his mighty beard.

Wilkie's beard has better things to do with its afterlife, like haunting Dan Simmons.