Playpen

Welcome to the Playpen, our space for ferrety banter and whimsical snippets of things that aren't quite long enough for articles (although they might be) but that caught your eye anyway.

at 19:31 on 09-03-2012, Ibmiller
Also, the Stark kids singing the intro is indeed adorable. Almost makes me wish I'd finished the series (tv, not book).
permalink
at 19:30 on 09-03-2012, Ibmiller
Watching my friend play through ME3 has been great fun...spoiled somewhat by
knowing that I really am not going to enjoy the ending
. But it really is pretty awesome to see Tali as an Admiral, and all the ways your relationships with the various aliens and humans have changed the way the galaxy works over the three games.
permalink
at 17:16 on 09-03-2012, Arthur B
Kyra, are you aware of the face import problem?
permalink
at 17:03 on 09-03-2012, Isabel
I mean had I been playing Dudeshep and I'd whacked some woman in the face I'd have felt awful but because Femshep did it I was just "omg, I get to participate in the macho bullshit too! YAY!"

Yes, definitely playing a female renegade Shepard (despite beak-issues) is enjoyable for the sheer level of bolshy arseholery that she partakes in. Also seeing her dance like 'generic awkward male' is particularly satisfying.
permalink
at 16:55 on 09-03-2012, Wardog
Hmmm...I have to confess I really enjoyed punching the reporter in the face. Twice. But then ME has always struck as being unintentionally subversive. The fact that Shep is so clearly written as a dude makes it unbelievably liberating and satisfying to play Femshep. I mean had I been playing Dudeshep and I'd whacked some woman in the face I'd have felt awful but because Femshep did it I was just "omg, I get to participate in the macho bullshit too! YAY!"
permalink
at 16:54 on 09-03-2012, Arthur B
Also if it were Babylon 5 the journalists would be completely wretched and the protagonist would have a moral mandate to do whatever the fuck he liked to them, because nobody fucks with J. Michael Straczy- I mean John Sheridan.
permalink
at 16:19 on 09-03-2012, Axiomatic
I'm fairly sure you could punch her in the first game, too.
permalink
at 15:52 on 09-03-2012, James D
I just wish they'd have stuck with the Star Trek/Babylon 5 feel of the first game, rather than going all *gritty* and *badass* on us. I mean for crying out loud, punching that female reporter straight in the face while she's interviewing you, and having it made out to be awesome? I get that 'renegade' Shepherd is supposed to be an 'ends justify the means' type, but c'mon, that's just violent idiocy. Plus the game doesn't even tell you that he's going to do that; I expected him to maybe interrupt her or smash the camera, not her face!
permalink
at 15:40 on 09-03-2012, valse de la lune
Oh I don't think it's bad to enjoy ME or anything--I'm watching and loving an anime with fanservice in the opening theme (three carefully obscured nude teenage girls ahhhh why). It has girl pirates who help a princess regain her country and almost no male presence okay.
permalink
at 15:23 on 09-03-2012, Wardog
Horny Manchildren Inc - for all your banal adolescent fantasies!
permalink
at 15:10 on 09-03-2012, James D
Maybe it was horny manchildren who designed EDI's robot body in the game world as well as in real life? I could imagine the android body with DD's might sell better than the one without any tits at all.
permalink
at 15:04 on 09-03-2012, Wardog
Sigh ... ME is so problematic ... but ... but my love for Garrus runs true and pure, nobody shoots people in the face like Garrus....
permalink
at 15:00 on 09-03-2012, valse de la lune
What I've heard is that EDI gets huge tits and asks Shepard for relationship/sex advice (with Joker you see) and it's incredibly creepy. Also, MShep gets 9 love interests whereas FShep gets 5: all gay female relationships barring Liara are from non-joinable NPCs who just hang around the ship (see Kelly Chambers) whereas Kaidan is a squadmate and romanceable by an MShep.

All that I got from someone who really likes the series so yeah, it's not my inner HATERRR speaking or anything.
permalink
at 14:49 on 09-03-2012, Wardog
My ME games are all locked in my Xbox - so I guess I'm relatively safe from too much piracy protection stuff. I think ME 1 and ME 2 had different strengths and weaknesses but I enjoyed them both. I missed the sense of scale in the second one - all those uber-streamlined areas and the planet scanning made it feel less like you were in spaaaaace and more like you were in a really small flat.
permalink
at 14:45 on 09-03-2012, James D
Well, I did play the first two games. I thought the first was awesome and the second was a step down in a number of areas, though it did improve on the combat somewhat. The third from what I've heard is a big Hollywood explosionfest though, so I'm more seriously considering just playing through the first game again. Plus you have to install spyware on your computer to play 3, no thanks.
permalink
at 14:38 on 09-03-2012, Wardog
EDI WHUT?!

Honestly, James, I kind of don't care at this stage - I think it's a now a game for people who are invested in Mass Effect, rather than a game by any other definition. But being Mass Effect is sort of enough for me, everything else is gravy. I know that probably sounds a bit wet of me but sometimes you just love things because you love them, and the normal critical rules don't apply. Obviously this isn't a good perspective for a professional reviewer but I'm Kyra and I wanna play Mass Effect :) If it's really really bad I might pout but I just want to be my bad-ass beakless Shepard and see Mordin and Garrus again...
permalink
at 14:30 on 09-03-2012, James D
Isn't MEIII supposed to be awful, though? I mean the 'pro' reviews are all positive, of course, but from what I've heard from people who don't get paid to give good reviews it kinda stinks. Also EDI gets huge mechanical tits for some reason (seriously).

@ valse:

that'd be where our priorities differ, I think--I'm okay with PSS because New Crobuzon is amazing, Mieville's language can be evocative, and mostly the plot exists as an excuse for him to show us New Crobuzon. In that regard I never cared if the book was long because the things he's showing are interesting.

Fair enough, there's always going to be a certain amount of subjectivity in how much weight you give each element of fiction. I loved New Crobuzon too, I just wish we could've had a better reason for being there (like a more character-driven plot; I really liked Isaac and Lin).

a main character whose face I want to see pulped in with stiletto heels but who nevertheless takes up far too many pages and is treated, narratively, entirely too well (Rachel, darling, defenestrate him! No?).

Heh, I agree Dill's pretty boring, I think he's one of those POV characters only in there because the author feels he sees a lot of important plot stuff, rather than because he's interesting. I think your hatred of him might be exaggerating your memories of how important he is, though; he's only one of three major protagonists (Mr. Nettle and the poisoner being the other two). I definitely agree that any of the three minor POV characters (Carnival, Adjunct Crumb, and Rachel) could've taken his place with much better results, though.
permalink
at 14:00 on 09-03-2012, Isabel
I made Jesus Shepherd once to be a very bearded paragon but I only played him for about 5 minutes before I couldn't bear to go on.

Haha, glad its not just me

You should be able to re-design her face at the start of the game?

Yeah, I remember getting rid of the luminous orange top-knot I inexplicably gave Paragon Shepard in 1 at the start of 2 (oh how I miss her), but have entered into some sort of abusive cycle of dependency and hate with the beak of renegade Shepard. It means I can take a sort of savage pleasure every time I kill her and blame her for just not being Original Shepard. Oh dear.

permalink
at 13:22 on 09-03-2012, Wardog
Also ... a mere 2.5 hours before I can run away and play Mass Effect. OH DAY WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW.
permalink
at 13:20 on 09-03-2012, Wardog
*dies*

That's ... hilarious.

You should be able to re-design her face at the start of the game?

I made Jesus Shepherd once to be a very bearded paragon but I only played him for about 5 minutes before I couldn't bear to go on.
permalink
at 13:11 on 09-03-2012, Isabel
accidentally made look like a duck?! How?!

Well I was trying to distinguish her from my Paragon Shepard who was a total plank, but it a lovable sort of way, so I tried to give her a roguish smirk without checking what she looked like from the side and then unfortunately once she turned sidewise in actual gameplay her mouth stuck out about three inches from her head in a kind of horrendous beak. I really hate her.


permalink
at 13:00 on 09-03-2012, Wardog
Valse, it came out today in the UK... we're always about three-four days later than the rest of the world. GRUMBLE.

...accidentally made look like a duck?! How?! I have my hot renagade femshep who looks like me in my wildest fantasies, assuming I was bad-ass and covered in scars.
permalink
at 12:57 on 09-03-2012, Isabel
Incidentally, I am non-functional with excitement because MEIII is out today.

Tell me about it. Although the fact that I accidentally deleted my original Shepard has dented my happy somewhat. Am now stuck with my stupid renegade one who I accidentally made look like a duck. Sigh.
permalink
at 12:19 on 09-03-2012, valse de la lune
Thought it's been out for a few days, Kyra? :)
permalink