Welcome to the Playpen, our space for ferrety banter and whimsical snippets of things that aren't quite long enough for articles (although they might be) but that caught your eye anyway.

at 10:39 on 12-03-2012, Wardog
Also it looks like Game is falling over. I think it was the loss of my custom that did it.
at 09:51 on 12-03-2012, Wardog
Re ME spoiler:
Basically whatever you do you destroy the mass relays but I think FTL tech was discovered independently of the protheans so essentially you're regressing to slow rather than instant space travel. It doesn't precisely explain what is going to happen to the ENTIRE FUCKING ARMY stranded at Earth though
at 04:35 on 12-03-2012, Michal

Damn it, I was waiting for my H.P. Lovecraft: Slouching towards Madness biopic to get the go-ahead and this got made instead?

at 03:09 on 12-03-2012, Ibmiller
Funny - that's the second time I've been linked to that response to ME3's ending. I heard the rest of the game was really good (and what I saw of my friend's playthrough). I am curious - I heard there was a chance that
FTL will be rediscovered
- is that so?
at 02:11 on 12-03-2012, Alasdair Czyrnyj
@Arthur, they changed voice actors, but Jackie still sounds pretty Seagally. (Seagull?)

They changed around the tentacle mechanics quite a bit. The creeping penis of doom is gone, alas, and you actually have to get special pickups to use black holes, but on the plus side you can slash at people and throw stuff at them, and, on occasion, shove a tentacle into their butt and rip out their spinal column (complete with skull, which honestly has me more and more puzzled about the anatomical mechanics of the whole thing the more I think about it). Sadly, it becomes less fun halfway though the game, when you start fighting enemies who are armed with nothing but gun-stealing whips, flashbangs, and portable klieg lights. Oh, and the final bit at the end of the longer ending is...well, it's very, very '90s Image Comics, shall we say.

Also I screwed up the tags for that link, so let's try again.
at 00:20 on 12-03-2012, Arthur B
I remember Arthur quite enjoyed waving his enormous demon cock.

Apparently your cock can multitask this time.

Once I am done with Amalur I will turn my attention to my cock.

Al, does the main character still sound like Steven Seagal?

RE: ME3 - well, that's £40 I'm glad I spent on something else...
at 23:48 on 11-03-2012, Wardog
Re Darkness II - I'm sad about this. I remember Arthur quite enjoyed waving his enormous demon cock.

(And also playing The Darkness - boomtish)
at 23:46 on 11-03-2012, Wardog
Oh god, is it that bad?

Yep, wasted mah weekend. And arguably any time spent playing Mass Effect ever.
at 23:06 on 11-03-2012, Alasdair Czyrnyj
On the subject of ME3's ending, I found this, which amused me even though I don't entirely understand it.

For what it's worth, I've had a rather ambivalent time with games as of late. I spent the week before last playing the two Dead Space games for the PC (first one: fun; second one: superfluous and confusing), and over the weekend I got through The Darkness II, or as I am coming to think of it, The Mopey Adventures of Numbnuts the Emo Mobster, with Special Guest Appearance from Mike Patton, Whom We're Barely Going To Use Even Though His Demon Voice Is The Only Reason You Bought This Stupid Game. A little long-winded, but a more honest title, I think.

I also reread Last and First Men, which I think may be the polar opposite of Mass Effect in every single way. (Well, Star Maker is probably a better fit in that analogy, but you all know what I'm saying.)
at 22:07 on 11-03-2012, Arthur B
This is me right now.


Oh god, is it that bad?
at 21:51 on 11-03-2012, Cammalot
*whimper* They've gone and put a "Black Interest" section in Waterstones at Picadilly. Whyyyy?

(At least they're managed to shelve Octavia Butler in "Blackspace" AND in SFF, where she actually goes. Two different books though.)
at 21:45 on 11-03-2012, Wardog permalink
at 18:00 on 10-03-2012, Arthur B
I'm intrigued by it because they really do seem to have got the aesthetic right.
at 17:33 on 10-03-2012, Michal
I'm probably the only person here itching to see John Carter [of Mars], but I have two very good reasons:

1. Mark Strong (!)
2. Screenplay co-written by Michael Chabon (!!).
at 00:09 on 10-03-2012, Arthur B
Look, I know that the ME2 system was essentially a tedious exercise in running your finger over a ball until you feel a bump.

But I would gladly fondle a million balls if it means my Shepard survives the war.
at 23:55 on 09-03-2012, Dan H
I have been assured that you can get the best ending without multiplayer if you just do a lot of collecting of war assets, which as I understand it is this game's equivalent of the planet-mining from last time.

I'm not *wholly* convinced that constitutes an improvement.
at 20:55 on 09-03-2012, Arthur B
I have been assured that you can get the best ending without multiplayer if you just do a lot of collecting of war assets, which as I understand it is this game's equivalent of the planet-mining from last time.

I am arse-deep in Amalur right now but when I am out I will probably give ME3 a go... once the face bug is sorted. :)
at 20:45 on 09-03-2012, Fin
amazon is telling me not to expect my copy of me3 until tuesday or wednesday. :C

i hope this time i'll have the option to get seth green killed.
at 19:37 on 09-03-2012, Wardog
Also I hit the reporter in the face again!

:D :D :D :D :D
at 19:35 on 09-03-2012, Wardog
@Arthur, Yeah, I just spent about an hour trying to re-create my gaunt-cheeked, cold-eyed, stern-faced unlovely bitchqueen ... and I just about managed :D
at 19:31 on 09-03-2012, Ibmiller
Also, the Stark kids singing the intro is indeed adorable. Almost makes me wish I'd finished the series (tv, not book).
at 19:30 on 09-03-2012, Ibmiller
Watching my friend play through ME3 has been great fun...spoiled somewhat by
knowing that I really am not going to enjoy the ending
. But it really is pretty awesome to see Tali as an Admiral, and all the ways your relationships with the various aliens and humans have changed the way the galaxy works over the three games.
at 17:16 on 09-03-2012, Arthur B
Kyra, are you aware of the face import problem?
at 17:03 on 09-03-2012, Isabel
I mean had I been playing Dudeshep and I'd whacked some woman in the face I'd have felt awful but because Femshep did it I was just "omg, I get to participate in the macho bullshit too! YAY!"

Yes, definitely playing a female renegade Shepard (despite beak-issues) is enjoyable for the sheer level of bolshy arseholery that she partakes in. Also seeing her dance like 'generic awkward male' is particularly satisfying.