Welcome to the Playpen, our space for ferrety banter and whimsical snippets of things that aren't quite long enough for articles (although they might be) but that caught your eye anyway.

at 20:18 on 12-03-2012, Fin
between that and what you've said about the ending i am extremely sadface. :(
at 19:53 on 12-03-2012, Wardog
Yes, I noticed that. I mean I know it's meant to be all urgent and cinematic and streamlined and shit but there aren't precisely dialogue trees any more, just conversations in which you are occasionally allowed to pick one of two options.
at 19:44 on 12-03-2012, Fin
is it just me, or have bioware really cut down the amount of dialogue choices you get this time? i've only been playing a little while, but so far i don't really feel as much ownership over shepard as i did in the last two games. it feels like bioware are so caught up in telling their version of shepard's story that they're forgetting that i'm supposed to be directing her dialogue most of the time.
at 17:10 on 12-03-2012, Ibmiller
Ah. I shall have to look furthing into
FTL's history
. Since if it does exist,
you could just make a bunch of box ships, jump them into the solar system, and evacuate people. Doesn't fix the materiel problem, but at least the people won't die of having no food and such.
But that's the kind of thing I liked the ME series for thinking of, so we don't have to come up with ridiculous retcons. Rrrrr.
at 15:24 on 12-03-2012, Arthur B
The creeping penis of doom is gone, alas

shove a tentacle into their butt and rip out their spinal column

Al you are giving me mixed messages about my penis. ;)
at 15:21 on 12-03-2012, Arthur B
Has there been even a hint from Bioware they are considering a DLC with new ending material? I thought all the talk about that came from very angry fans demanding a fix.

Still, if they do go with that and the new ending is actually worth it, then I may wait for the GOTY version to come out. I've Amalur on the go and Dark Souls in my to-play queue so the GOTY version should be out by the time I'm done with those. :)

Also, as I understand the ending the mass relays exist as a means of directing galactic development in a particular direction... so the way I see it, even if galactic civilisation does rebuild, since the rebuilding will have to hinge on completely different technologies all developed independently of each other then the aesthetic of the thing will have to change completely - or if it doesn't change, then we're looking at cop-out city.
at 13:09 on 12-03-2012, James D
I'm just going to wait until it's on sale or I decide to pirate it. Mass Effect 2 had a lot of problems but it was still fun as hell, and I imagine Mass Effect 3 is the same, but with a ridiculously bad ending (though they've been promising a new a DLC). I do love the first game, though.
at 12:16 on 12-03-2012, Wardog
Oh God, um, well, the game itself is great but, to me, the ending was utterly disconnected from everything that went beforehand, and, err, largely invalidates it. I guess it depends how much 10 minutes of AWFUL can ruin an experience for you.
at 12:05 on 12-03-2012, Furare
So, uh, I was going to ask for ME3 for my birthday, which is soon... is there any point to doing that? Or is it no good thanks to the ending?
at 11:26 on 12-03-2012, Wardog
Yes, I agree - I am a massive Steam convert these days, I don't care if it's evil, it's so convenient! Also it encourages me to try games I wouldn't normally try....
at 11:14 on 12-03-2012, Shim
The idea of buying games from a shop just seems odd now. It's like having to go out and hire a band any time you want to listen to some music. I mean, I can buy a digital copy without leaving my house, and sometimes get a playable demo first and upgrade to the full version more or less seamlessly. Why would I choose a less convenient method with fewer advantages? It's not like books where shops let me browse the content.
at 10:39 on 12-03-2012, Wardog
Also it looks like Game is falling over. I think it was the loss of my custom that did it.
at 09:51 on 12-03-2012, Wardog
Re ME spoiler:
Basically whatever you do you destroy the mass relays but I think FTL tech was discovered independently of the protheans so essentially you're regressing to slow rather than instant space travel. It doesn't precisely explain what is going to happen to the ENTIRE FUCKING ARMY stranded at Earth though
at 04:35 on 12-03-2012, Michal

Damn it, I was waiting for my H.P. Lovecraft: Slouching towards Madness biopic to get the go-ahead and this got made instead?

at 03:09 on 12-03-2012, Ibmiller
Funny - that's the second time I've been linked to that response to ME3's ending. I heard the rest of the game was really good (and what I saw of my friend's playthrough). I am curious - I heard there was a chance that
FTL will be rediscovered
- is that so?
at 02:11 on 12-03-2012, Alasdair Czyrnyj
@Arthur, they changed voice actors, but Jackie still sounds pretty Seagally. (Seagull?)

They changed around the tentacle mechanics quite a bit. The creeping penis of doom is gone, alas, and you actually have to get special pickups to use black holes, but on the plus side you can slash at people and throw stuff at them, and, on occasion, shove a tentacle into their butt and rip out their spinal column (complete with skull, which honestly has me more and more puzzled about the anatomical mechanics of the whole thing the more I think about it). Sadly, it becomes less fun halfway though the game, when you start fighting enemies who are armed with nothing but gun-stealing whips, flashbangs, and portable klieg lights. Oh, and the final bit at the end of the longer ending is...well, it's very, very '90s Image Comics, shall we say.

Also I screwed up the tags for that link, so let's try again.
at 00:20 on 12-03-2012, Arthur B
I remember Arthur quite enjoyed waving his enormous demon cock.

Apparently your cock can multitask this time.

Once I am done with Amalur I will turn my attention to my cock.

Al, does the main character still sound like Steven Seagal?

RE: ME3 - well, that's £40 I'm glad I spent on something else...
at 23:48 on 11-03-2012, Wardog
Re Darkness II - I'm sad about this. I remember Arthur quite enjoyed waving his enormous demon cock.

(And also playing The Darkness - boomtish)
at 23:46 on 11-03-2012, Wardog
Oh god, is it that bad?

Yep, wasted mah weekend. And arguably any time spent playing Mass Effect ever.
at 23:06 on 11-03-2012, Alasdair Czyrnyj
On the subject of ME3's ending, I found this, which amused me even though I don't entirely understand it.

For what it's worth, I've had a rather ambivalent time with games as of late. I spent the week before last playing the two Dead Space games for the PC (first one: fun; second one: superfluous and confusing), and over the weekend I got through The Darkness II, or as I am coming to think of it, The Mopey Adventures of Numbnuts the Emo Mobster, with Special Guest Appearance from Mike Patton, Whom We're Barely Going To Use Even Though His Demon Voice Is The Only Reason You Bought This Stupid Game. A little long-winded, but a more honest title, I think.

I also reread Last and First Men, which I think may be the polar opposite of Mass Effect in every single way. (Well, Star Maker is probably a better fit in that analogy, but you all know what I'm saying.)
at 22:07 on 11-03-2012, Arthur B
This is me right now.


Oh god, is it that bad?
at 21:51 on 11-03-2012, Cammalot
*whimper* They've gone and put a "Black Interest" section in Waterstones at Picadilly. Whyyyy?

(At least they're managed to shelve Octavia Butler in "Blackspace" AND in SFF, where she actually goes. Two different books though.)
at 21:45 on 11-03-2012, Wardog permalink
at 18:00 on 10-03-2012, Arthur B
I'm intrigued by it because they really do seem to have got the aesthetic right.